ABOUT AKA
I wouldn’t call myself one of AKA’s biggest fans. I never kept up, not like I presume a loyal Megacy member would.
The trippy thing is that when the news about AKA’s death was confirmed, I was hurt. It pained me and even now, it still pains me when I see and/or hear about him. I know it is true but I am not sure if I have come to accept it?
I remember watching his memorial service live, partly hoping and expecting him to just pop up and perform. It would be the rudest, cruelest joke ever made in the history of pranks, but at least he’d still be alive, doing what he did best.
It is still so new and maybe just maybe you know how newness, especially of something unexpected and tragic goes.
When I see Nadia Nakai’s (his girlfriend) posts about him, I hurt even more. It is as if I channel her pain. It only makes it worse for me. The pain is that of having the man I was in love with, that I had plans with, who undoubtedly loved, respected and supported me too, being ripped away from me for a reason unknown. I am confused. I am angry. I am empty. I am watching his videos, reading his texts, looking through photos, listening to his voice notes and just missing him. I want to reach out to him but I cannot. He is no longer within reach. It is a nightmare! I am things words cannot do justice to. What we had is gone. What we could have been? A never to be. It’s terrible. TERRIBLE!
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This is the blessing and curse of being a feeler. The pain is too damn real. It is like I lost my own person. Sometimes I say, DAMN THESE FEELINGS, DAMN THEM TO THE FIREY PITS OF HELL! It is too much. Why love me only to leave me? Why let me love you only to leave me? God, why give him to me only to take him from me? That’s if you even exist. I thought good things were meant to last. I don’t understand!
I don’t even want to get started on Kairo, his daughter! 😞
Separating myself from Nadia and Kairo, I am grieving the loss of a great African musician who gave me a strong sense of confidence and hope in myself as an African who loved and wanted to pursue music full time and be respected for it. He may have talked about what most rappers do every now and then, and even carried the generic persona and attitude of one, but to look at him as just that was not possible for me. He brought an energy, a good MUCH NEEDED energy into my life when I was young and very hateful of my own people, culture and land. I will always be grateful for experiencing the feelings I did when I listened to his work way back when I felt like my only ticket out was…OUT! He was the beginning of the shift in my mindset about what we can offer to the world musically (artistically) without even having to look towards where the grass seemed greener. It was already green here. It still is!
I believe in my heart of hearts that a true one was taken. One with a heart for the music and for the continent, of course starting with his country, South Africa! One with a vision that wasn’t just about him — a vision that lived beyond him for the benefit of us all. I can only imagine what could have become of him had he lived another 30–50 years. He was only getting better and more influential/ inspirational as he grew and healed from what even I thought would be the end of his career. A man of resilience indeed!
I am sorry for what and how his end happened. I believe a big part of what I am grieving is lost potential and unfinished business. I have many wishes but that is all they will remain.
May his good spirit live on in the ones who got to experience it. May they spread it and leave a positive mark on those who get to experience them. May the cycle continue. May we all grow into something positive and worthwhile.
Peace Loves. 🫶🏿
💔❤️🩹♥️
